Family Weekend

Alright! It's time for me to finally stop procrastinating and write about what a wonderful freakin' weekend Pam and I had when some family came into town. Why has it taken me so long to write it? Well, once I blog about it, that means it was over, officially. It was certainly hard to let go of the great times we had a week ago (over a week ago, yikes, I'm really late on this).

Mom, Dad, Mom-Mom and Aunt Dee Dee arrived Wednesday night, around ten o'clock. Which, if you think about it, is really late according to their internal clocks, which were still set to Eastern Standard Time. But they rallied just enough to soak in some of the Las Vegas culture before bedtime.

Pam had work until one at The 'Rise, so I walked over to the Mirage and met them. A sight for sore eyes, that bunch. It was such a relief to see some familiar faces, and to have company! I can get a little stir crazy, spending so much time by myself, so this was to be a weekend to fix that.

They checked in, and we caught up over the unpacking of the bags. Thankfully, some soft pretzels and wine got through that strict airport security. Nothing says Philadelphia like soft pretzels, and it was a nice taste of home. The five of us got a late night meal at the Mirage's BLT burger (where the sandwiches were tasty, and the "house-brewed BLT beer" was just Pabst Blue Ribbon, according to our waiter), and then decided to take a quick jaunt down the strip, just to see the sights, as sort of a precursor to the weekend.

They made it until approximately the same time that Aunt Dee Dee would be normally waking up for work, before calling it a night. What troopers!

Thursday morning, being on different sleep schedules, Pam and I arrived at the Mirage swimming pool a little later than the rest of the gang. Holy moley, what a nice pool they have over there! Especially compared to the Candlewood's rectangle filled with tepid water, this place was gorgeous. Palm trees, lounge chairs, waterfalls, poolside bar, it was the perfect place to hang out during a warm Nevada spring day. The slushie mixed drinks didn't hurt either. It's always five o'clock here.

Only our morning was spent poolside, as there is too much to see and do to be wasting it away getting tipsy lounging under the waterfall. So after one excruciatingly long but necessary bus ride (seriously, the double decker bus that travels up and down the Strip, the "Double Deuce," may just be the slowest ride you'll ever take in your life - double points if you're surrounding by very loud, very drunk people!), we ended up at our favorite place in Vegas, Fremont Street Experience.

First order of business was the zip-line. Pam and I joined my parents as we zipped across the whole of Fremont (pictures forthcoming). It being my second time, I can thus confirm that the way you are strapped in, it is infinitely uncomfortable for men of my height each and every time. But I guess you forget how much your crotch hurts when you're flying high in the air like that, because it was still awesome.

Starving, we had dinner at... ah crap, what was the name of that place? The fish place right there on the corner. Ummm... let me go look it up on Google Maps... Aha! Mickie Finz Fish House! That's right. I forgot the name, but not the food. Oh boy, their fish sandwiches are mighty fine. I could tell that everyone wanted to get the 64 oz. fishbowl martini, but we wanted to save some room for the rest of the night.

And what better place to go when you have a little room in your stomach than the Heart Attack Grill? No, we still didn't get any burgers, but the price was right for 24oz. Hamm's for three of us. My mom got one of their fruit shakes that probably got her a little bit more tipsy than she planned on. And none of us, unfortunately, manned up and ordered malt liquor. Next time!

They were also filming while we were there, and by the looks of it, it was for some kind of Telemundo equivalent of "Man vs. Food." (Pam contests it was the Telemundo version of "Regis and Kelly.") Telemundo is right next door, after all. We see the Quadruple Bypass Burger be delivered, marvel at the monstrosity for a moment, and the next moment we turn around and the dude is finished! Turns out he didn't even eat it. It was all fake. Telemundo is a sham. It all looked real to me!

(Side note: Just one day after we were there, apparently a lady had a "medical episode" that was, let's be honest, probably a heart attack. I can't imagine what everyone's reaction was. How can you have sympathy for someone that gets a heart attack at the Heart Attack Grill. Should you expect to NOT have medical issues, honestly?)

The rest of our Experience was the opposite of malt liquor and heart attacks, which means it was pretty darn swell. Aunt Dee Dee met Gene Simmons, Mom-Mom took pictures of old men in diapers, I bought a balloon hat, lost $25 by betting red instead of black, and we all had a bunch of those faithful $2 Coronas. The light and music show above us on the Fremont 1500-foot screen was supposed to be Don McLean's "American Pie," but for some stinkin' reason it ended up being Jon Bon Jovi. It was such a good night, however, that not even Bon Jovi could ruin it.

The bus ride home was long.

Friday was our travel day. The folks rented a mini van for the day, and we all schlepped off to the Hoover Dam. Though Pam and I had been there before, we took a tour this time, checking out the generators below the concrete of the dam, and bearing witness to its plumbing majesty.

A temporary plan for the day included a trip to Lake Mead, but it just wasn't in the cards, and that was totally okay with me. I'd probably rather go back to the Mirage's pool instead of jumping in a lake. Instead of Mead, we walked main street in Boulder City, and drank that wonderful elixir of the Boulder Dam Brewery. My favorite beer ever was no longer available (and will never be again, according to a worker we talked to the other day), so instead of the Dam Brewtal Ale, we settled with lesser, but still good, brew.

Our time back in Vegas began with a nap. Cut me some slack, I'm not used to waking up at 7 o'clock! But soon enough, we were again fighting the sun on the walk to the Mirage. The Flyers were on their way to losing Game 5 at that point, so we joined my Dad at the sports book and watched that for a while. After the game, everyone was accounted for, so we walked down to the Bellagio Water Show and prayed that it wasn't "Time to Say Goodbye" yet again. Give it a break, Bocelli.

After some pizza at our usual, unnamed pizza place underneath a McDonald's (wait, does the pizza place have a name? I have no idea. But I like their pizza), we hung out at the Mirage some more, doing what the kids call "pregaming" before the show we were seeing that night.

Kevin James and Ray Romano were on the bill. I think their show title was called "Paul Blart and the Woolly Mammoth From Ice Age Make 100,000 Jokes About Sex While You Sit Next to Your Parents," or something like that. I did laugh a lot though, I'll admit, despite the fact that, yes indeed, that was Paul Blart Mall Cop that was making the jokes. Great show!

The wine we drank didn't really sit that well in my stomach - my stomach is weak - so we called it a night after that. Wait, weak stomach, what am I talking about? We went to Terrible's the next day for their infamous $10 Champagne Brunch, and that is certainly not for the weak of stomach. Mimosas and bacon do a body good, ya know.

Next up on the itinerary was what Aunt Dee Dee was looking forward to the most, the Kiss Rock 'N' Roll Mini Golf, where the putters rock and roll all night and party every day. Each putting green was dressed up like a psycho circus, and when you got a hole-in-one you were encouraged to shout it out loud. I won't say who won, but for five of our golfing sixsome, tears are falling, including Beth... uh, I mean, Mom. And for yours truly, it was rocket ride to that low score. As for Pam, her score proved her to be a hard luck woman on the green. You wanted the best, and you got the best, for when I grab that golf club, I'm a killer, and when it comes to hole in ones, I lick it up. Better hide your heart forever if you want to play against me. And... uh.... Shandi.

So yea, that was a good time playing mini golf with the family. The only thing that would've made it better was if Mini Kiss had made an appearance. Maybe next time.

With the mimosas still rolling around in our stomachs, and defeat hanging over the heads of everyone who didn't win the mini golfing, we took it easy in the early evening. But around 6:30, Pam and I made our now-familiar walk up Flamingo Road and met the gang at Batista's Hole in the Wall, an old-school Italian restaurant that did not disappoint. The table was adorned with garlic bread and on-the-house bottles of wine, and each meal, in typical Italian fashion, was HUGE. It was such a pleasure to enjoy this meal with family, as we stuffed ourselves with food and toasted to an excellent weekend with the folks we love.

After our post-dinner cappuccinos (surprisingly delicious), our destination was Treasure Island to check out their pirate show. It was... not good. Embarrassing. Kinda crowded. I suppose it was worth seeing it just to say we saw it, so maybe if you know someone else that saw it, you can both laugh and roll your eyes. Oh well. A good consolation came in the form of $1 Natty Light cans being sold right outside the bar in TI. ONE DOLLAR NATURAL LIGHTS. Tasted just like college.

The six of us went to the Mirage's free Stripside show afterward, the volcano out front erupting, cleansed the palette of the dirty taste of that pirate show. Fire explosions make for a visceral experience.

And after that, and a few more drinks and a few more hours of just enjoying our company, the weekend was over too soon.

Mom, Dad, Mom-Mom and Dee Dee were all wonderful company indeed. We really enjoyed having them out west with us, and it was sad to see them go, but gosh darn, what a great, great weekend. Pam and I hope they had just as good a time as we did.

Look for pictures from the weekend soon.