This one is going to be a little tougher. At least for Family Weekend, I could look at the itinerary we planned before the fam visited if I needed a hint about what we did. For the past week's story, I don't have that luxury. I tried to write a little cheat sheet, but there's still some holes in my memory. What the hell did we do last Monday?! My mind is blank. I didn't even tweet that day.
Oh well. That little calendar you keep under your pillow, writing down exactly what we did each day according to the blog, I guess you'll have to keep that Monday blank too. Actually, you know what? Write: "Joe and Pam went bungee jumping." It's fun to pretend.
What actually happened? Stretch all the way back to the morning we woke up while my family was getting on that plane home. We were hungover - not that anyone went overboard over that weekend, but four straight nights of moderate-to-kind-of-heavy drinking can add up. So we played it easy that day. Sleep. Curtains closed. Plenty of liquids. Actually, I had work from noon till four, but I'm sure Pam napped those four hours, as she is wont to do. That night we went to Gordon Biersch for dinner (no, God, no drinks this time), as Pam's sister and brother-in-law were kind enough to send us a gift card. Thanks guys!
Then, I dunno, we went to the grocery store for our biweekly food shopping trip (no, God, no beer this time). I bought two onions. Good times.
Monday
Tuesday I did probably nothing, because Pam was scheduled 12:30pm-1am. What did I really do? Hmm, the Phillies were on that day, and they were playing in my Time Zone, so that was nice. Let's pretend I went to the gym, even though there's only really a 50% I did so. And even though Pam is scheduled until 1am, she almost never gets out that late. Christ, I'm typing this at 9pm on a work day and she's already home. I won't pretend I know how this all works, maybe she'll explain it to you guys one day on our humble little blog here.
Wednesday we (GASP) woke up early. I know! But it was worth it. Our mission was that discount show tickets place at Bill Gamblin' Hall (Flamingo and the Strip). We bought our $80 discount tickets and had a lunch of turkey burgers and chicken wraps at Margaritaville that we pretended was breakfast.
Let's talk a little about the magnificence of the show we went to see. Absinthe.
Located in a big ol' circus tent outside of Caeser's, Absinthe is a non-Cirque du Soleil show that some critic claimed (prominently on Absinthe's posters), "If you only see one show in your lifetime, make it this." And while I would argue that a Burholme reunion tour would be that show, Absinthe is most definitely a close, close second. It was awesome.
I'm not one to be impressed by circus tricks (cool, dude, you can balance on a tight rope...), so to say that the crap they did on the stage in front of us was incredible, I really do mean that. And the stage in itself was neat-o. It was circular stage, with the audience surrounding it in all directions, and it was only about 12 feet wide at most. If you think there's not many feats of skill and finesse that can be performed on such a stage, you're wrong. It was nuts. Here's just the first act:
And on top of all that, it was uproariously funny. None of the jokes I could post here - I did, after all, commit to writing a family-friendly blog, and the jokes they told would probably get me banned from Blogspot all together.
[Wait, what's going on with the formatting of this post? I don't know how to get this text to start below the picture, Blogspot changed the whole interface of the site, and I can't seem to get the hang of it yet. Whatever, just ignore any how weird this looks]
After Absinthe (freaking awesome), we chilled at Caesar's for a bit, got a drink or two (no, God, no more than that yet), and got lost in the parking garage before we called it a night. I WAS WRONG PAM WAS RIGHT WE WERE ON THE FOURTH FLOOR NOT THE FIFTH FLOOR OKAY.
Thursday was another one of those Pam's-working-what-the-heck-am-I-gonna-do-with-myself days, broken up by my own work day. But mine's four hours and hers is twelve, so I hung out and watched NBC comedies (including Community, Thursday nights at 8 pm on NBC), and was totally going to do all my chores at 11:30, when Pam walked in 10:45. I loved seeing her so early in the night, she loved seeing me so early in the night, she did not love seeing the dishes dirty and the bed unkempt and the toilet seat up. Oh well. Procrastination will sting ya sometimes, as I've learned many times over.
Fridays are permanent days at the 'Rise (along with Tuesdays, and that third day could be any day, cool thanks Sunrise), so yet again I hung out. Gym, Phillies, Laundry, as the Northeast Philly guidos like to say. AW YEA GPL YEA. The Phillies let me listen to their loss for a frustrating three hours (though to be fair, they've won five of their last seven, so maybe this is the start of something), so I celebrated by walking my sorry butt to Arby's for some Reuben goodness. And then some beers at Champagne's.
There's quite a few reasons why Champagne's was appealing on this particular Friday night alone. One, beers were no more than two dollars, which is a nice palette cleanser after those freaking seven dollar beers anywhere else. Two, it is practically caddy-corner to Sunrise, so Pam could come right after work. Three, Friday and Saturday are karaoke nights, and we all know I love karaoke (and I had a desire to hear those sultry pipes of my talented girlfriend). Four, it's right next to Arby's, so, ya know, I had an excuse to go to Arby's.
Strangely enough, I was sitting at the bar for a while, and as I got up to use the restroom, I realized that I knew like a bunch of people sitting behind me, as they were the same folk with whom we attended the Las Vegas 51's game. So that was cool, not having to sit by myself at the bar for the rest of the night. And wouldn't you know it, Pammers got to the bar at like 9:45, because that's how that hospital works (I'm goading her into writing a blog post, see?). Awesome night all around. They even let me sing "The Night They Drove Ol' Dixie Down." Rest in Peace, Levon Helm.
How did we get to the gym Saturday morning? Don't ask me, but we did it. Not that I did anything. I think I sat on the stationary bike and pretended to do something for a bit while Pam beasted the treadmill. Then who knows, Saturday afternoon is another hole in the plot. Maybe we sat around by the pool? Hrmmm...
Dinner was nice. We went to a casino about halfway between here and the Strip called Ellis Island. Their cafe was pretty decent, with burgers and steak fries. It also doubled as a "brewery," with beers called "Light" and "Dark" and "Amber." I ordered a "Hefeweizen" which tasted like a straight up banana in dipped in seltzer water. The title of "Best Brewery in Nevada!" was obviously self-proclaimed and very much wrong. But the food was good, and really, no beer that I'll ever drink for the rest of my life will ever live up to Natty Light, so we were happy.
Our walk west on Flamingo continued to O'Sheas, which was having its Farewell Weekend. Yes, the Strip's only place to play beer bong with and get herpes from your fraternity brothers, while a midget in bright green clothing walks along the bar and pours a bright green liquid down your throat for a few bucks, is closing down. Free shots on the hour!
We met up with a few of our friends at this coveted location (and hey, it was actually pretty fun, if you hung out listening to the band instead of fist pumping for that bounce shot you just nailed on the pong table, bro), and the night went from there. First, it was to Margaritaville to listen to the tropical sounds of a Cheeseburger in Paradise. Next, it was the Cosmopolitan, which is the hip place to be for wild kids our age, I guess. We were there until 3 a.m., and seriously, the place was crowded well past 3 a.m. People do not sleep here.
And as a pleasant coda to the night, the foursome moved back to the Can, order some pizza, and hot tubbed with a whole bunch of other residents of the Can. Seriously, we had a packed hot tub at four a.m. People really do not sleep here.
Because of the nature of our weekend, we did nothing on Sunday. Seriously, nothing. It's not just I forgot what happened. We did nothing. All day. I didn't have a problem with it.
Monday... Ah, who am I kidding, we didn't do anything yesterday either. We both had work, and afterward we went to Gordon Biersch. Their happy hour is too good to pass up.
Today we worked. Then I decided to blog.
Whew! Now you're all caught up with our adventures.
Some thoughts to close us out:
- Seriously, I need a hair cut. I look awful / I look like if high school joe grew a beard.
- Those pics from Family Weekend are going to be posted pretty soon, promise.
- It's getting really hot out here. I don't like hot weather.
- We just ran out of Tastykakes. HOW ARE WE GOING TO SURVIVE SEND CHEESESTEAKS QUICK
- Sent my grandparents a postcard the other day. Somehow - I seriously don't know how this happened - I almost sent them a postcard featuring a casino flapper wearing only a thong. Thankfully, I noticed before it was sent out.
- Tomorrow we're going to one of those things where they try to sell you a timeshare, and we get some goodies in return. We were promised a two-night stay in one of 25 US cities (to be used on our drive home this summer), and a $100 gift certificate to a restaurant out here.
- This blog: 2.5 months, 48 posts, 3171 page views. My old blog: three years, 250+ posts... 1489 page views. Thanks for continuing to check in with us, folks. Saves you the trouble of having to hear all these boring stories in person when we get back.
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