The Fremont Street Experience

It was a Saturday that begged for adventure and exploration, and Fremont Street seemed to fit the bill.

After a quick jaunt to the gym (I'm getting buff! And being sarcastic!), we took a bus ride with the RTC, a transportation we still don't quite fully understand. Despite a map that looks simple, one that says that the 109 will drop us off right at City Hall, somehow we ended up in the Vegas projects. Chalk it up to a learning experience, I suppose. Like our previous travels through the seedy underbelly of Vegas (this time minus the myriad of strip clubs), we thanked our higher power that it was daylight while there. We survived.

After a short (and really hot for February) walk, we ended at our destination.

This is the old school strip, the one you see in the movies with the flashing lights and the wedding chapels and the big lit-up cowboy that is beckoning you in.

Note that the video above is '93, and Fremont Street has changed a bit since then. They've renovated it into a big block party, almost. It isn't really a street anymore, as no cars can drive down it. It's a big walkway now, with a big roof that doubles as the world's largest video screen.

(A video of a shows they play at night on the roof, taken by someone else)

We were starving, so we went to an Irish Pub - where else? - to get sandwiches. True to the City of Excess, this pub featured the so-called "World's Largest Pint Glass" at 64 oz... and thirty dollars. And actual pint was $8. This is not where we started to drink.

Because the beginning of our impromptu Fremont Bar Crawl started at the place that Pam swore just two days ago she would never go because "this place is disgusting."

Yes, indeed, we went to the Heart Attack Grill. And though Pam ate her words, she did not eat their burgers, because we just went there for their $5 PBR 24oz.

A few more factoids about this restaurant, this God's gift to the gluttonous man:

• All the waitresses are dressed as nurses, the bartender as a doctor, and all the customers as "patients," meaning we had to put on hospital gowns before we sat down (see picture below)
• The "Quadruple Bypass Burger" has four large beef patties, eight slices of cheese, 20 slices of bacon, and if you eat the whole thing, they wheel you out in a wheelchair.
• The fries are deep fried in pure lard; the milkshakes are made with pure butterfat cream.
• If you are over 350 lbs., and get weighed in the middle of the restaurant to prove it, you get to eat for free.
• Free blood pressure machines were available for the "patients" as well.
• The beer prices were great. They even have pounders of Colt 45 and Old E ("Feeling Ghetto?" asks the menu).

The Heart Attack Grill is a tribute to the overindulgence of the American public, and it was wonderful. If there is ever an opportunity to get back there without Pam, a Double Bypass will be calling my name.

We continued through the Fremont Street Experience. They have a lot of neat stuff besides the usual casino nonsense. Take, for instance, the fact that you can ride a zip-line right over the street (for a cheap price!). I think we found what we'll be doing for Pam's birthday.

Street performers were in no short supply. The "Gold Guy" was pretty creepy, and wouldn't let go of Pam's hand until we gave him another dollar.

Yup, he's still less creepy than most of the Philadelphians you'd meet on the street back home.

We spent a decent amount of time going from one casino to the other, not for the slots or table games (though I did put five dollars in one slot and lost it in about 20 seconds and I SWEAR TO GOD THAT'S IT), but for the good drink prices. Our favorite was the Fremont Casino, that had $2 Heineken and Corona. We met some really nice people (seriously, is everyone from Texas the nicest person ever?) and drank a few more and walked around some more and just generally enjoyed each other's company.

We ended our Fremont experience by hitting up a so-called "hipster watering hole" called the Griffin.

I'm not sure what was so hipster about it. There were fireplaces everywhere, and lush couches, and curtains. Definitely not the dive bar I expected. Here's me looking debonair next to the fire with my Hamm's Draught (That's the cool, cheap beer around these parts, apparently).

It had been a long day, and we were tired, so it was just about time to head home, screw up the bus system yet again and get lost (seriously, we did get lost again), order some pizza, and go to bed. But Fremont Street was freaking awesome.

It was infinitely better than what is now known as The Las Vegas Strip, in my opinion. It was more of my scene. You know me, I'm not the club kind of guy. So to be able to sit down with a cheap beer and just hang out, I was in heaven. We'll be coming back here soon.